This was a message of guidance and insight (and refreshing honesty) I received in one of my recent journaling sessions where I was exploring my yearnings (and fears!) about expressing myself more fully and authentically in the world. I share it here as an offering for anyone else who may be on a similar journey as me. (I admit I also feel a bit vulnerable putting this “out there” )
Trust yourself. You feel the longing, the sacred whisper in your heart that tells you there’s something more. You keep feeling beckoned to follow an invisible thread deeper into the heart of you. You have a gift that longs to be expressed, to help and heal the world around you. You have a hunger for authentic expression, even if fears and obstacles stand In your path. You crave connection on a soul to soul level and to feel the depth and beauty of that connection.
I know you get held back sometimes by questions of whether you’re worth it or whether you deserve it or whether your voice has anything unique to offer and whether anyone will listen to it or whether you can put food on the table through this!
YOU have something unique and valuable to offer that only YOU can give. Its effects will ripple far beyond what you can even imagine. Each act of kindness, each instance of generosity you extend to yourself or another, each time you take the quavering risk to speak your love, your truth, your vulnerability and your humanity, you are radiating out love and permission to others who long to do the same.
You wonder sometimes if it’s practical to think that you can earn a living from expressing who you are in the world. Oh I know the voices that beat you over the head with doubt and tell you you’re not being realistic. I know how tempting it is to give in to them and dampen your light. But I have to ask you, is it practical to hide your light?? Oh I know you can still do “good” and “worthwhile” things. But seriously, how can hiding your light truly benefit humankind and the people closest to you, when it’s that very light and love you long to share, and it’s that very love and light people most hunger for.
Yes I know it’s scary, but with every brave act you take in being the first to take down the mask, you implicitly give permission to everyone else who yearns to do the same, and lord knows, we need more of THAT in the world!
Oh I know you still may question how any of this beautiful spiritual talk could relate to the practical question of making a living. Well, I ask you to look at how easy it is for YOU to backtrack into telling yourself “oh but it’s not realistic” at the first hint of opposition or questioning from anyone else. You haven’t actually seen YOURSELF as someone who could making a good living doing something you love, care about and that expresses your joy.
It’s also been so much more familiar to think that the ONLY way you can make good money is to find or continue in an occupation that primarily uses your logical analytical mind and leaves the rest of you for “after hours”. Well sure, I understand that, as you’ve had so many years of practice and success at that! But do you realize how you have also found it safer to see YOURself that way?
So, my friend, one supremely practical question for YOU and YOUR journey is to actually look at your own beliefs and imaginings.
Part of YOU feels more comfortable and secure with the idea that your most realistic prospect is to have a more conventional well paying job and just do the “spirit stuff” on the side. This may seem to offer you the relief of not having the “pressure” or “hassle” of trying to make any money from expressing your creative spiritual side. It may even be a way you think you can keep your creative spiritual work pure and “unsullied” by commerce and marketing, god forbid! You may think it keeps you safe from potential failure and rejection and any other horror stories your nightmare mind dreams up.
It ALSO perpetuates the very split you have been trying to heal -- namely, the belief that you have to divide and hide yourself and sacrifice our own authenticity and voice to survive and prosper in this world.
Now, there’s NOTHING wrong with whatever particular job you may choose to work in. My point is about something deeper than any particular job or form that your work might take. What I’m pointing out to you is something deeper, which I don’t think you’ve seen before. What I’m pointing out to you is your hidden fear of crossing your OWN boundary -- the boundary of your own belief that it’s not SAFE to see YOURself as someone who has money-making work that expresses your soul!!
So, dear Soul, I now gently offer you some new invitations to mull over in your heart: Are you willing to consider trusting and embracing YOURself as someone who COULD have and claim a brilliant life of joy-filled expression that makes a magnificent difference in the lives of the people you touch, and brings you abundant livelihood? Are you willing to see yourself as someone who is walking hand in hand with Spirit supporting you through all of this? Brave Soul, are you willing to go past the edge of your own safe cocoon of beliefs and into the wide unknown of a new unimagined possibility?